You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
