She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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