If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
