ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
