I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
