i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
