We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
