Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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