How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
