Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
