for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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