Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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