I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
