guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
