i just snorted my name. best moment ever
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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