nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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