i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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