I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
