it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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