I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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