Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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