I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
