these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
