how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
