In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
