He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
