well you can't waste a boner
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
