My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
