is your mom at the bar?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
