so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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