You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
