he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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