Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
