ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
