I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
