Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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