I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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