I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
