thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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