i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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