theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
