So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
