This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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