I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
