did you get engaged???
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
