We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
