i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
