"it" just moved
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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