It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
