So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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