just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
